Sally Dubrowski

Age: 35

Occupation: Reporter for the infamous Tabloid The Weekly News Acquirer

Interesting Fact: Was voted “Most Down to Earth” in high school. (Ironic, since she now reports on UFO abductions).

“The truth is I don’t care at all about Tanya Michelle Jones and yet she’s all over the paper I work for. I swear, sometimes I think we should change the name from the Acquirer to The Tanya Michelle Gazette.”